This Proverb says, “A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle.”
In ancient Israel, winning or overcoming a fortified city was a long physical process. It was lengthy and difficult to achieve against strong fortifications. However, as Solomon points out in this Proverb, it is considerably more difficult to heal a broken relationship than it is to physically overcome a strong city.
Healing a broken relationship is not a physical process. It is an emotional and spiritual process. If we have said or done something to deeply offend a close friend or relative, we cannot erase our words or undo what we have done. We have to convince our brother that we are truly sorry and didn’t mean what we said or did. That is extremely difficult because we cannot know the depth of the harm we have caused. Nor can we know the true effect of our efforts to fix the problem we have caused.
As with all difficult matters, our best approach is to trust God and ask for His help in healing the broken relationship. Seeking counsel from God’s Word will be helpful in how we approach the situation.
Usually, healing will require forgiveness from the offended party. Forgiveness can only be attained after repentance. We must truly repent of our offense and demonstrate that repentance through our words and deeds. Then, there will be a chance at healing the broken relationship.
